Is this precept (sexual misconduct) still relevant in contemporary society? How should we understand the precept of sexual misconduct? What if one chooses sex outside of marriage?

With the passing of time, society changes – there are changes in family structure, in value systems and so forth. Traditionally, marriage and building a family were almost compulsory. Life was considered incomplete without marriage and family. With modernisation, such a value system has changed. Women in modern society are independent; many do not need to depend on a husband for financial and social security. It has now become a trend that marriage is no longer compulsory, but rather an option.

Regardless of societal changes, we still need to be responsible for our actions. Sex should be an expression of love and long-term commitment between two parties contributing to mental and emotional well-being. In traditional Asian societies, a “long-term commitment” was built on customary/traditional marriages. As societies modernised, legal marriages replaced traditional ones.

Today, when people choose not to marry and still want to have sex; there needs to be a sense of responsibility and commitment towards each other, and also a sense of commitment in raising offspring (in case of pregnancy), and ensuring their happiness.

We also need to value the other person and show respect towards him/her, because a sexual relationship is one that involves two people trying to bond their lives. They will share ups and downs in life; they will share a sense of intimacy beyond superficial sexual attraction.

We should use our sexuality wisely and kindly. This means abandoning any activities that could hurt others physically or emotionally. We need to check and be mindful of one’s motivation and attitude towards sex. How do we relate to our own and others’ sexual needs? Is sexual activity an expression of love, or an expression of craving for sensual pleasure? Irresponsible sexual relationships will only cause pain and suffering to both self and others.

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Abortion is medically defined as the expulsion of a not yet viable foetus in humans as well as animals before the end of pregnancy, during which the foetus is not capable of maintaining an independent existence.

Is abortion a form of killing? To answer this question, we need to understand when life begins. According to Buddhist teachings, the existence of a human being begins from the mind’s “first arising,” that is, from the first moment of the existence of consciousness in a foetus. In other words, life begins from the moment of conception, when an egg is fertilised by a sperm. Hence, abortion is indeed a form of killing.

However, according to Buddhism, abortion is allowed only in situations where it is the most humane alternative; for example, in order to save the life of the mother. But let us be honest, most abortions are performed simply because the pregnancy is inconvenient, or an embarrassment (pre-marital pregnancy or the result of adultery). These are very poor reasons for the destruction of a life.

Abortion is never a good solution to unwanted pregnancies. Prevention is better than cure. Education is the long term solution. Educating couples on sexual responsibility is a better option than destroying a life. Couples entering into sexual activity should think carefully beforehand. Are they ready to bring a new life into this world? Are they financially ready to bring up the child? Sexual activity should not be carried out without long term commitment; that is, if pregnancy occurs, the couple must be responsible for their act of bringing a new life into the world.

See the entire answer

Many business people may think that it is impossible to keep the precept of not lying. However, consider this. If a business person is truthful in his/her claims and perhaps makes a little less on a honest transaction, the chances are that by creating trust, he/she would have gained a loyal client. In other words, being truthful does not conflict with doing business and can instead bring about long term success. I once read of a very successful businessman in Malaysia, whose success was due to his truthfulness and sincerity. The story goes like this…

After the businessman entered into a contract, the price of the necessary raw materials went up. If he stuck to the contract price, he would have lost money. Since there was no way to change it, the only choice would have been to “cheat” with cheaper, substandard materials. However, the businessman decided to courageously tell his customer the truth about the situation. His truthfulness and sincerity touched the customer, who then agreed to an adjustment of the contract pricing. The businessman is now one of Malaysia’s most successful.

Let us now take a look at the state of affairs in the consumer market today. There are many shoddy and fake goods that have harmed consumers. The Chinese use the term “black heart” (黑心产品) to describe such products. Just to quote an example, the 2008 Sanlu Milk incident in China killed four babies and left thousands ill. Business people who want to maximise profits produce such so-called “black hearted” products. These are harmful and are detrimental to public safety.

There are always ways and means to make money ethically. Therefore, we should always strive to be truthful and honest about our products or services, and the fourth precept sets out the guideline for us.

See the entire answer

Communication is important. When one does not understand a culture or religion, there is a tendency of mistrust and misunderstanding. It will be good to share with your parents what you plan to learn or have learnt from the Dharma. Be careful though, not to impose your ideas on others when you are sharing information with them. You may also want to invite your parents to attend Dharma events with you, so that they are aware of what you are involved in. Let them know where you are going, what you do in the Dharma centre, what you learn, and who your Dharma teachers and friends are. They will feel more at ease if they are informed and know what you are doing. The best and most effective way to convince your parents is through your actions and behaviour. If your parents see a change for the better in you, they will certainly allow you to go the Dharma centre.

I once had a student in Australia, a divorcee who used to have problems with her children. After coming to the Dharma centre, learning the Dharma and applying it in her life, her children noticed a positive change in their mother. Then came a period when she got too busy to go to the Dharma centre and started becoming cranky and reverting to her old behaviour. Her children were the ones who reminded her to go back to the Dharma centre.

See the entire answer

An Australian devotee once told me she used to drink with her mum. According to her, it is part of Australian culture to drink; to drink alone means you are alcoholic, but drinking with someone is just being sociable.

Are we being unnecessarily prudish if we do not join in what “normal” people do? Is what “normal” people do always correct? In the Kalama Sutta, the Buddha advised us not to follow blindly what others do, but to use our wisdom to inquire. Only when we are satisfied that an action benefits us and others, then we proceed.

A sister nun of mine was studying in a university in Japan. Once she was invited to attend a function in her faculty, where she was offered a glass of wine by her professor. She would have appeared rude if she did not accept the offer, but she courageously decided to do so politely anyway. She confidently told her professor that since her ordination, she had promised the Buddha that she would not drink from then on. Her professor not only did not feel offended, he was very impressed by her courage and honesty, and got her a cup of fruit juice instead.

As the world globalises, there is greater acceptance and understanding of other cultures and behavioural systems. We need to learn to express our choice in a polite way. If we are clear about why we are upholding the precepts and of what we are doing, we can speak with confidence and sincerity. Our friends will accept our differences and respect the choices we make.

See the entire answer

(taken from Thich Nhat Hanh, For a Future to Be Possible, 2007, Appendix 1, p107)

When you do two or three things at the same time, like eating your dinner, watching television, and having a conversation with friends at the dinner table, you do not do any of the three things deeply. You cannot truly taste and enjoy each morsel of food that your beloved one prepared for you. You cannot give your full attention to the television programme, and you will be unable to listen carefully to what your friends are saying. It is even more difficult if you have several sexual partners at the same time. Please examine this deeply. None of your relationships will be profound. Ask your heart whether you are really happy. It may seem all right now, but are you certain that you are not causing suffering to yourself or your partners? A superficial, non-committed relationship never leads to real happiness or peace.

See the entire answer

There is a segment of the society which feels victimised by the modern economic system. They feel that multi-national companies such as Internet providers, phone companies, banks, chain stores, etc, have been ripping consumers off by charging high processing fees and interest rates, among other unjustified actions, and compelling consumers to contribute to their coffers. Some have argued that we have the right to steal for survival and have even outlined “ethics” for stealing – to take only what one needs, from multi-national companies who can afford the losses.

To reply to this, let us first take a look at the impact of modern advertising.

Most of us are exposed to a myriad of commercial advertisement – in trains/buses, along the highways, and on various media platforms such as the Internet, TV and radio. However, we often do not reflect on the impact that these have on us. Quite un-mindfully, we tend to believe what the advertisers say and we literally buy into this consumerist system. In reality, these commercial messages compel us to believe that we must possess certain things and if we do not, we are deemed inadequate or marginalised. Our unlimited wants are misinterpreted as basic needs, and often with undesirable outcomes. We start to believe that we need certain things when in fact we only want more.

The precept of not stealing sets the boundaries; it stops one from taking possessions which belong to others. Once we hit the boundaries, we bounce back to check our mind and action. The practice of mindfulness enables us to examine our mind. In fact it is our mind - the state of wanting something we do not have - that makes us feel poor, unhappy and dissatisfied. If we are not mindful, the discontented mind will compel us to steal. By looking deeply into ourselves, we will be able to find the underlying reasons which make us unhappy. Seeing the state of wanting and grasping, how it makes us and others suffer, we naturally begin to drop the thought of “wanting.” The only way out of poverty is through cultivation, to overcome the undesirable state of mind which traps us in inadequacy. Only when our evil roots – wanting, ill-will, and ignorance – are up-rooted, will we feel rich within and be truly happy. Only then will we become free and not be a slave to consumerism. The precept of not stealing also addresses what I will call the “sickness” of contemporary culture. It emphasises social responsibility.

Not only should we respect the property of others, but we should also not exploit them by enriching ourselves at the expense of others. In a capitalist culture, trying to maximise our profits fans our greed. This precept reminds us to be mindful and not become a slave to greed.

Stealing is never an answer to poverty or want. If we believe that it is alright to steal, we are creating insecurity and chaos. How would you feel living in a society full of thieves? Applying the “take from the rich” concept, the losers in the end are the consumers. Consider this – by stealing from a giant chain store – although they could probably write off the losses – the cost would subsequently be passed on to other consumers.

This is unfair to innocent consumers and also creates social disharmony and insecurity. According to Buddhism, if one is poor, he or she cannot become rich by taking others’ possessions. The Law of Karma and its results show that we are responsible for our actions and the results we experience due to them. In fact, if we steal, we are planting the seeds of poverty. If we constantly feel poor, such a mental state will certainly lead us to poverty! Conversely, generosity and sharing our belongings are the causes of wealth.

In the Parinirvana Sutta (佛遗教经), the Buddha said, “Contentment is the greatest happiness.” If we are contented, even if we sleep on the floor, we are happy; if we are not contented, even if we are in heavenly realms enjoying luxury, we feel dissatisfied. Ajahn Brahm, an Australian monk, goes to prisons to teach meditation. One day after a meditation session, the inmates asked him to share his story as a monastic. He told the inmates that there are walls surrounding the monastery just like walls surround a jail. Monastics wake up early, have only one meal a day and stop eating after mid-day. They do not have coffee breaks, and eat only what is donated to them. They sleep on simple beds, without TV, radio or newspapers. After hearing his story, the inmates told Ajahn that it is better for him to live with them in jail! Monastics live simple and frugal lives, yet they feel happy within. Regardless of being rich or poor, the mind is crucial.

See the entire answer

Some people say that they are already keeping the precepts and are spiritual, and feel there is no need to go through the official ceremony. In fact, they argue that they are better than those who go through it but do not uphold the precepts.

The ceremony is a time when we can express our faith, confidence and commitment. By participating in the ceremony, we express our determination and commitment to observe these Five Precepts in our daily life. It means we have strong faith in these Five Precepts as a framework for us to transform our life; without faith, it will be difficult to observe/practise the Precepts. In the ceremony, we publicly accept the Five Precepts with a strong intention to use them as a guideline for living an ethical life. In other words, we are committed to live a virtuous life, with dignity and mindfulness, to be in harmony with all beings around us; in short, to bring our actions into harmony with our spiritual ideals.

The Pali word Sila (morality) has the connotation of virtue, skillfulness, nobleness and wholesomeness. By taking part in the official precepts ceremony, we formally take on the qualities of Sila in the presence of a spiritual mentor, the Buddha, bodhisattvas, and arahants. Therefore there are only benefits and no harm in participating in the precept ceremony when we are intent on living virtuously.

The Buddhist Five Precepts provide a wholesome foundation for personal and social growth, by providing practical and universal principles for a good life and the cultivation of virtues. It is based on the principle of non-harming and has the effect of harmonising our true interest for the well-being of others, and the universal laws. Action taken without regard for ethical principles leads to relationships scarred by competitiveness, exploitation, and aggression. In contrast, actions guided by ethical principles promote harmony among people, bringing about peace, cooperation and mutual respect.

The Buddhist Five Precepts are not commandments imposed by force; rather, they are a course of training that we take on willingly. They are not taken to please a supreme being, but for our own cultivation. The Five Precepts function as the core training in moral discipline and form an integral part of a Buddhist’s life. They are used to help us become better people and are not to be taken as a burden we feel compelled to shoulder. The upholding of the precepts includes recitation of the precepts daily, mindfulness, self-discipline and reflection. It requires a high level of sincerity, honesty and inner discipline.

See the entire answer

Share this:

Leave a Reply Cancel reply